100% motivation versus demotivation

Motivation vs. demotivation – How can we achieve our goals in the long term?

I am dissatisfied with my body. I just don't feel comfortable in my own skin (anymore)....

My clothes no longer fit me, I feel sluggish, and once again I'm sitting in front of my convenient but unhealthy food. I shouldn't be surprised that I look and feel this way. But things can't stay this way. I would feel so much better if I took better care of myself and was at my ideal weight. I'll start tomorrow. I'll exercise every day, watch what I eat, make sure I get enough sleep, try to reduce stress, and in four weeks—at the latest—I should have achieved my goal of my dream body.

Some readers will probably have recognized themselves in this description...

We realize that we are dissatisfied with something. Be it our exercise or eating habits or any other conceivable situation in our lives. Often, we sit there with hundreds of thoughts running through our heads about what we are dissatisfied with, what we would like to change, and how we would like to bring about a change (in behavior). But what exactly drives us? And why do we often give up so quickly? What motivates us? And what demotivates us?

Motivation, motivation, and need

In motivational psychology, the terms motive, motivation, and need are used to explain behavioral change. A motive is the foundation for subsequent behaviors. As a rule, a motive represents the REASON for a certain behavior. It is practically the precursor to motivation, because it gives us the drive we need to take action and exhibit a certain behavior that brings us closer to achieving our goals. Motivation, in turn, is a need or, in other words, a desire that triggers in us the wish to eliminate an imbalance and thus come closer to our desires. As a result, we always strive to remain in balance (homeostasis) or, if we lose our balance, to restore it.

Homeostasis and how we achieve it

With homeostasis, we strive to achieve a state of inner balance through self-regulatory measures. This can be easily observed in the regulation of our body temperature. If it becomes unbalanced because we are cold, we automatically start to shiver in order to bring the body back to normal temperature. We can easily transfer this example to other areas of our lives where we may have lost balance. Referring back to our initial example, this would mean that a lack of exercise and an unhealthy diet have damaged our body and made it tired and sluggish. This is not its natural state. As a result, we feel uncomfortable and want to restore balance.

Models of motivational psychology

In motivational psychology, we have various models that represent the process from engaging with a topic to taking action. At this point, I would like to discuss the Transtheoretical Model of Change (Prochaska & Velicer, 1997) and refer back to the example at the beginning of the article. This model is a step-by-step model of change.

Change processes for achieving goals

In order to bring about this desired change and achieve our goal, we go through various change processes. According to the model, we start out at the precontemplation stage. At this stage, we have not yet thought about a particular behavior. In relation to our example, this would mean that we are not yet thinking about our lack of exercise, which is making our bodies out of shape and sluggish. In the next stage, contemplation, we begin to deal with the problematic behavior on an emotional level, for example by addressing the consequences of our lack of exercise and our resulting dissatisfaction with our own bodies.

If our suffering, or rather our desire for change to restore balance, is great enough, we move on to the preparation phase.

Here, we actively look for ways to bring us closer to our goal. For example, we have the opportunity to incorporate more exercise into our everyday lives, such as by exercising regularly three times a week. Finally, we enter the action phase, where we remain for several months and regularly carry out the behavioral change (exercising instead of sitting around lazily). We remain here until our behavior has become established and integrated into our everyday life. Then we will also notice changes and see that our behavior of sticking with it has been worthwhile.

Problems in achieving goals

What problems do we face in achieving our goals? Because if it were as simple as explained in the model, there should be no problems in achieving our goal. Or should there? Perhaps some of you have noticed while reading that I have only presented one factor in the model that represents problematic behavior. That is already one of the problems. Let's think back to our initial example. There, we would have several tasks to complete in order to achieve our goal. More exercise, healthy eating, more sleep, less stress, and implementing all of this at the same time, if possible, and incorporating it into our already busy and hectic everyday lives starting tomorrow. What happens?

We fail in this endeavor and our motivation plummets.

This means that we will fall back into old patterns because we have come to the realization that our attempts to feel better have failed. And why expend the energy if it doesn't work anyway? I might as well just carry on as before. However, since this is not compatible with our actual desires and goals and does not eliminate this unpleasant imbalance, we will end up back at the point where we would like to change something. But what is the best way to proceed so that we are successful in changing our behavior and remain motivated in the long term?

Staying motivated: What can I do to stay motivated?

• Identify the biggest problem:

           What bothers me the most? What is a key factor contributing to my discomfort? What needs to be changed most urgently?

• Tap into resources and skills:

What resources do I have that can help me achieve my goals? What am I particularly good at that can help me achieve my goals?

• Set realistic/small goals:

What is a realistic timeframe in which I can achieve my goals? And what specific goals can I realistically achieve in that time?

• Give/take time:

Some people need more time, some less. Physical changes in particular vary from person to person. Some people start a training plan and see significant improvements after a short time, while others need longer, and you should take your time.

Of course, a general important and helpful point is always a good dose of optimism. This helps us to approach the matter with the right attitude from the outset and to achieve the best possible positive result for ourselves. So let's tackle our desired changes step by step and one after the other, according to the motto "less is more." This will help us stay motivated in the long term, strengthen our optimism, and achieve our goals.